Morning Forecast....

Good Morning My Confidants

I'm having a hell of a time getting my shit together this morning.

Ever have a morning like that?

I'm being distracted very easily. I'm bouncing back and forth between gentle and loving, and snarky and sarcastic. Don't know what it is. And it's reflecting on my comments in social media. Loving and kind to one person, and then for some reason, unforgivingly sarcastic to another. I don't like that.

Thank goodness I got a decent night's sleep last night. I was in bed by 9:30! And I took like three naps yesterday!

But I have come to this conclusion that I cannot believe took me this long to reach. And it has to do with the weather....

I've heard many pleas and woes and comments about how much people hate hot weather. I get it. I hear you. Although I personally don't hate hot weather. In fact, that's part of my realization....

I do not like cold weather, I have never liked cold weather, even growing up in Santa Ana California when cold meant you might be able to see your breath, I didn't care for cold weather (except that I could pretend I was Godzilla, shooting radioactive breath into the busy "streets" below me!). We moved to the Chicago suburbs the Summer before 6th grade and that was my first encounter with having to deal with snow, and in all the years since I've never gotten used to it. But you see, it goes beyond that....

While there are many people who are miserable in hot weather, I've always been miserable in cold weather. But it goes beyond that....

I understand (finally) that heat completely exhausts some people, drains them, and what I've realized in the last few months is, "Oh my goodness, that's exactly what cold does to me!" And in realizing that, I could apply that to people who don't like hot weather.

THE COLD COMPLETELY AND THOROUGHLY DRAINS ME.

For instance, today, it's 40° and I am aching. A few days ago, I could not believe how good I was feeling. I was wondering why (I think there were several reasons but...), then when the temperatures dropped yesterday, and suddenly I could barely move, it finally truly hit me (I've been coming to this for about a month or so, but yesterday really cemented it for me). My shoulders were aching, my hip was screaming, and I was tired tired tired tired. I took a nap at 10:00 in the morning, I fell asleep for an hour and a half at 2:00 in the afternoon, I was falling asleep after dinner last night, and as I said, I was in bed by 9:30. Not only that, but I felt sort of sick, and I was worried that I was getting a cold. But that doesn't seem to be what's happening.

So, it's not just that snow inconveniences me, and believe me it does, it actually deeply affects me and there's not a lot I can do about it. Wrapping myself in blankets and cranking up the heat barely helps.

So, what am I going to do about it?

I really don't know that there is anything I can do about the weather. Short of winning the lottery or one or more of my novels making millions so that we can move to a warmer state, there is not a whole lot I can do about it at all.

So, what do I do??

Well, it goes back to some of the Noble Truths that I learned about in Buddhism.

Sometimes life just sucks. And it sucks when I'm freezing and my joints are aching and I feel sick. That's no fun.

But what the First Noble Truth teaches me, combined with the Second Noble Truth, is that my misery is increased by my focusing on it. When I sit around thinking about how miserable I am, then I'm even more miserable, which cycles me into being more miserable, and more miserable, and more miserable.

Therefore, change my thoughts, and change my world. Mental equivalent. Find a new mental picture.

This does not mean pretending. It just means refocusing what I'm thinking about.

Find something that will bring me a little laughter or a little joy. Cuddle with my dogs. Look for a comedy on television or at least something that will so grab my attention that I won't worry about my hip. Perhaps I will do one of my little projects and build a miniature. And think on all the wonderful things in my life.....

You know, I did remember to smile when I was waking up this morning! I smiled before I sat up. And I thought about all the love in my life. And I smiled some more. And no sooner did I do that, than my puppies pushed open the bedroom door, jumped up on the bed with me, and cuddled close. More love!

(I don't know what I would ever do without a dog. Thankfully I'm the oldest of the three of us, and if I were to pass--and I won't focus on that!--I won't have to worry about what happens to dogs that live with me. There will be someone to take care of them. I want a dog by my side when I take my last breath. Hear that my husbears? You might need to sneak one in the hospital! LOL!

...gratitude lists are so important....

For all my friends who do nothing but post about the injustices in the world, and all that they hate, and all that is going wrong in their life, and who always say, "Yes, but...." no matter what good thing they hear about....

Try what I do, what I talk about all the time. Try it just for a couple days. Try it for one day. Use your phone, or a piece of paper, or your laptop, whatever, and start listing things that are good. Things that you are truly grateful for. That you are alive. That you have a roof over your head. That you're not in a prison cell or ICU (and if you are in ICU, be glad that you're alive).

I promise you, I promise you, it is helped me in my deepest darkest darkest times, to focus on what I'm grateful for....

I'm grateful that this terrible cold weather isn't going to last.

I'm grateful for a home that allows me to be out of this bad weather! I'm not on a park bench or under a bridge. I'm not in a cot at a homeless shelter. I'm in my home. And it's mine.

I'm grateful that I don't have to work anymore, a lot of people do. Or don't, and they need to!

I'm grateful that I not only have one loving spouse, but two. And they take care of me. They think of me. In big and even silly ways. Why I realized yesterday that the Easter basket that RBear gave me not only had a Barbie doll, but some little teeny miniatures that go well with my OtherWorld! There's hardly any candy in that basket, and I certainly don't need it! He realized that candy wasn't good for me and got me things that were!

I'm grateful for my mother, that I had a wonderful father, and I'm grateful for my wonderful daughter.

I'm grateful that someone who's very important to me is closing on two years sober. It has changed so much in my life, and of course their life. We are all happier.

I'm grateful that I have dumped twenty-six (26!) pounds! While I still have between two and three times that to get rid of, I can already feel the difference. It's already easier to get up the stairs. It's already true that if we have to be at a HUGE store and there's no scooter, I can get around.

I'm grateful for my very dear friends. I have several. They say you can only have one best friend, but that's not true for me. And not only do I have dear wonderful friends in real life that I can see and touch, I have dear wonderful friends in social media. A lot of them. People that really care about me.

Wow. And in just the last few minutes writing this list I feel better than I did when I started writing this post!

And every time I start to feel funky today? I'm going to look at this list. Maybe edit it. Add other things I'm grateful for. Look for my new mental equivalents.

Change my thoughts and change my world.

You can do it too. Today, the first time that you start to think about something awful in your life or in this world, think of something good. If you can't help but see the injustices and the horrors, then go ahead and do it. But for every single one you think of, think of something good.

The next time you want to say, "Yeah, but...!", challenge yourself to do the same thing about every bad thing you hear about. Hear a bad thing, and then say, out loud, "Yeah, but...." and picture something great in your life.

It might just change your world.

With love,

Namasté,

BG "Gentle Ben" Thomas

PS: I thought of something else. There wasn't much coffee this morning and I didn't feel like grinding beans and making more. "Tea?" I wondered, even thought I don't like to make tea. Then I remembered RBear said we are out of it. BUT! Wow! Right there on the floor in front of where we keep the tea bags was a single mug wrapped tea bag! Chai pumpkin spice! And I am drinking it now and it is warming my insides so well! Happy Day!