Good Morning My Confidants
Or good afternoon?
I didn't get up until 10:00.
And I'm pretty much done with drinking......
I don't mean that I'm going to go alcohol-free. At least not yet. But I like having a glass of wine or two at dinner and a margarita at a Mexican restaurant. I like one or two fingers of whiskey in the evening. But that's it.
Last night was four drinks. Four. I used to be able to drink three times that and roll out of bed and go to work the next day. Not anymore.
I don't have headache hangovers or kneeling before the throne in the bathroom throwing up hangovers. What happens is I just feel like I ran a marathon the day before and it's just not worth it. And I don't like getting stupid. I remember back when we thought we were fabulous when we were drunk and then all I had to do was be around a few people while they were drunk and I was sober and I realized, we were never fabulous where we?
I had a good time last night, and I'm guessing what happened is our tips were so good that that last drink was a lot stronger than I thought it was. Luckily I was not driving. Luckily the person who was driving made it home safely.
I think in the future if I want to spend an evening at the bar I'm going to have Cokes in between. Diet Cokes.
I like getting up at 6:00 in the morning with Noah and having our morning coffee and seeing him off to work. I didn't get to do that this morning. I would have rather had two drinks last night and been able to get up this morning with him. My day is just not as nice since it didn't start with him.
I'm pretty darn sure I'm not an alcoholic, or even a functioning alcoholic. I go days and days and days without a drink, and humorously, 95% of the time I suddenly want to drink is because I'm watching somebody on TV drink and they're savoring and what they're having and that reminds me how good it tastes and I'll go make a drink. So theoretically, and there's a part of me that's considering it, I could just stop drinking all together.
I truly, truly, love to savor a delicious ice-cold gin martini, absolutely clean, with three olives. Or one or two fingers of a really good whiskey just to sip it slowly and make it last, sometimes an hour. I love a frozen peach Margarita when I go to a restaurant. So, thinking that way, it would be like giving up ice cream. I don't want to do that. It's not because I'm an addict to either one of them. But I love them.
But for instance, right now, because I'm getting rid of this weight, I have to be very, very careful with ice cream. Is that what I want to use my Points on?
I think it's all got to be about healthy decisions. Healthy as in physically, healthy as in mentally, healthy as in emotionally, and perhaps most of all, healthy spiritually.
You know, when you're on a weight loss program, the most important thing to be successful at it is to know that you want to get down in weight more than you want to stuff whatever high calorie food you love stuffing in your mouth. Hopefully, you get to this point where when you look at that Klondike bar, you stop and think, "Do I want to get rid of weight? Or do I want an extra Klondike bar?"
Or two?
Or three?
There have been times in my life where I just wanted to show six of them down my throat. I know I've done three or four. In five minutes. But that's addictive behavior and it means I was trying to fill up something in my life with food instead of dealing with something else.
I have a good life. I have a home. I have two wonderful dogs that are curled up with me right now. And I have two wonderful husbands. Two. I get two!
And it's Valentine's Day and we have a really nice meal planned. I'm really looking forward to that.
I'm writing again.
I have so much to be grateful for. And I want to be around to enjoy it.
So, making healthy decisions.....
I just think life is going to be a lot more fun when I weigh 75 pounds less than I do right now and I'm not having four-drink-nights. I'm an adult. I can make healthy decisions.
I've done this before and I'm going to do it again. No, I'm doing it again. Not going to do it. But doing it.
And if at some point that means no longer drinking alcohol at all, well what if I found out I was deadly allergic to something. Would I eat it anyway? Of course not. At least not if I wanted to live. If at some point I realize that living means not drinking alcohol any longer, well for goodness' sake. I'll do it.
And I won't do it acting like I'm cutting off a foot. That's not healthy thinking. And it would only lead to going back to doing something I've decided not to do.
If and when I decide to stop drinking alcohol, I'm going to do it with a song in my heart.
I have a song in my heart. I reclaimed it. I forgot the tunes and the lyrics there for a while, "but it's all coming back to me now.
And I love a song.
A lot more than I like getting drunk I'll tell you that.
It's time to sing again.
It's time to write again.
It's time to laugh again.
It's time to be healthy.
I hope this Valentine's Day is a beautiful day for you. And if you're single? Love yourself. Love yourself even if you are in a relationship!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Namasté
BG "Gentle Ben" Thomas
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